Are You in an Unequally Yoked Relationship?

Have you ever felt like the man you are dating, engaged to, or married to just isn’t into God? Maybe you have to drag him to church, or he says, “I just focus on my relationship with God,” while never reading the Bible or prioritizing faith. Or perhaps he openly tells you he isn’t interested in anything related to God or church.

If this sounds familiar, you might be in an unequally yoked relationship.

What Does “Unequally Yoked” Mean?

The term comes from 2 Corinthians 6:14 (NKJV):

"Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"

While often applied to marriage, it also applies to friendships, business relationships, and any close relationship. For this post, we will focus on romantic relationships, engagements, and marriages because these bonds are meant to last a lifetime. Being yoked to someone who does not follow the Lord can create significant challenges.

What Is a Yoke?

A yoke is a wooden bar used to join two animals so they can pull a load together.

• When both move in the same direction, the work is balanced and easier.

• Spiritually, being yoked with someone means sharing values, faith, and life goals.

• Being unequally yoked is like trying to pull a heavy load with someone going in a different direction—it causes strain, slows progress, and wears you down.

This imbalance can affect your:

• Spiritual life

• Emotional well-being

• Physical and sexual intimacy

• Parenting and family life

• Passion and desires

Your Partner Must Be Yoked to Jesus First

A critical truth often overlooked is that your future spouse should be yoked to Jesus before being yoked to you. The same applies to women aspiring to be Christian wives.

Jesus said in Matthew 11:29-30:

"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

Without union with Jesus, problems can arise. It is not about finding a perfect person, but a partner fully submitted to Christ so you can live life together His way.

How Christ Models a Spirit-Guided Relationship

Ephesians 5:21-33 provides a blueprint for marriage:

• Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

• Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

• Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church, giving Himself for her.

• Husbands and wives are united as one, reflecting Christ’s relationship with the church.

If your partner is not submitted to Christ, achieving these dynamics is extremely difficult, especially in marriage.

Signs You May Be Unequally Yoked

1. They are an atheist or follow another god

• Both partners must be fully surrendered to Christ.

• Dating someone who serves another god and religion can lead to conflict and spiritual compromise.

• Missionary dating—dating with the goal of converting someone—is not aligned with God’s plan.

2. They call themselves Christian but do not do God’s Word

• Matthew 7:24-27 teaches that those who hear and do not obey God are like a house built on sand—it will fall.

• Observe their behavior over time to see if they live out their faith.

3. They show warning signs of the last days

• 2 Timothy 3:1-5 warns against traits such as being selfish, proud, disobedient, unloving, or having a form of godliness but denying its power.

• Turn away from people who consistently demonstrate these behaviors.

Why Being Equally Yoked Matters

Being unequally yoked impacts every aspect of life—spiritual, emotional, relational, and physical. A partner committed to Christ creates a strong foundation for:

• Shared values and faith

• Effective communication and conflict resolution

• Spiritual growth as a couple

• Emotional and relational stability

Pursue a partner who is fully submitted to Christ, shares your values, and can walk with you in faith. This alignment sets the stage for a marriage or relationship built on trust, love, and God’s guidance.