To Have Children or To Not Have Children? That is the Question & Here is the Biblical Responses

The conversation surrounding children has grown in recent years, particularly regarding people choosing not to have them. This has led to a potential crisis for the future.

It doesn’t take much research to see that people aren’t getting married as young as they used to, nor are they having as many children as before.

Many Christians are wondering what their lives will look like in a world filled with uncertainty and instability, especially with changes in the economy and job market.

There are a few different situations that I’ve come across. First, there are singles who want to get married and have kids but haven’t found God’s chosen partner yet. Next, there are married couples who have chosen not to have children right now or perhaps not at all. Lastly, there are couples who deeply desire children but are struggling to conceive.

I have compassion for each situation and want to offer Scripture as a source of comfort, encouragement, and direction for your Christian journey.

For Christians Who Haven’t Found God’s Chosen Partner

Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT) says,

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

God has a masterful plan for your life. Along the way, things can happen that take us off course. Sometimes, we step outside of God’s will by indulging in sin, which brings consequences and delays. But even then, it’s not the end. If you are reading this, know that God still has a plan and a purpose for your life.

There may have been setbacks and detours, but God always has the final say. It’s important to build a close relationship with Him so you can recognize His voice and discern His will. Our desires and distractions can cloud our judgment, but if we keep pursuing God, He will guide us to what He has prepared for us.

Some desire marriage, but it may not be God’s will. Others prefer singleness, yet that may not be His plan either. Some settle for counterfeits instead of waiting for God’s promise. Therefore, be careful, patient, and prayerful as you follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. If marriage and children are meant for you, they will come in God’s perfect timing.

And if it is not His will for you to have marriage or biological children, remember that you can still be a spiritual parent. There are many children in need of the love of Christ and the guidance of godly mentors.

For Those Who Are Married but Don’t Want Children

Married couples in this situation can often feel misunderstood or even judged. But there should be no condemnation when it comes to choices that are between you and God.

Romans 8:1 (NLT) reminds us:

“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.”

There are many reasons why some couples choose not to have children. Some have tried but were unsuccessful and have found peace in that decision. Others may not be able to have children physically, while some simply have different callings or ambitions in life.

The real concern comes when the decision not to have children is rooted in fear or uncertainty rather than faith. Many modern couples cite instability in the world as their reason, but 2 Timothy 1:7 says,

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

If your reasoning stems from fear, anxiety, or uncertainty, take that to God in prayer. Ask Him to renew your heart, mind, and emotions. The Word of God should always take precedence over worldly logic. It’s not about doing what feels right but about seeking what is right in His eyes. Let His will, not yours, be done.

For Those Who Are Married and Unable to Have Children

Proverbs 3:5–6 (NIV) says,

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

When you’re unable to have children, it can be an incredibly painful experience. Watching friends and family members welcome children into the world can make the longing even deeper. Often, we don’t understand why things happen the way they do.

But we can find strength and comfort in God’s Word. Remember the story of Hannah, who poured out her heart to God in prayer, longing for a child. Her desperate cry was so intense that others thought she was drunk, but God heard her—and He hears you too.

Your story may not look like Hannah’s, but that doesn’t mean God has forgotten you. Sometimes His blessings come in unexpected ways. Trust that He still has good plans for your life and that His timing is perfect.